While I was on a plane ride to Hokkaido, I…
There are laws that govern what people are attracted to. These can be things, places, or people. Here are some laws that you can utilize to make yourself or your business more attractive:
1. The more scarce you are, the more attractive you become.
Similar to objects, the more rare it is, the higher its value. With objects, you can limit the scarcity by limiting quantities. However as a person, you can make yourself scarce only by making yourself unique, which leads me to my 2nd point…
2. The less substitutes or alternatives, the more attractive you become.
Similar to the first point, if people can find an alternative, the object becomes less valued as they can easily find a replacement. If the object carries a unique quality about it that benefits its potential market that cannot be found anywhere else, its value will increase.
Similarly with people, you need to be unique in a way that is new, refreshing, bold, and confident, without being too weird. What makes you stand out and be different? It’s a tough line to walk to determine whether you are being too weird or just unique enough, so you must try and experiment. By standing out, you will probably have people oppose you, but at the same time you will also have people attracted to you.
Most people, for fear of the opposers, choose to stay within the crowd than to stand out and be unique and be themselves. Lady Gaga has drawn a worldwide appeal, but let’s not deny that there continues to exist people that find her weird.
3. The higher the quality, the more attractive you become.
An art piece is worth more when it is more beautifully designed. Note that since quality is so subjective, it can differ amongst people. What someone or something might worth might be more valuable to another person.
4. The more that people want it, the more that you want it.
This attractiveness is even more true if your family and friends want it as well. For example, when every single girl in the class adores Brad Pitt, you would be intrigued by him as well.
When you live in a society where materialism exists, it’s easy to be caught up with it as well. This is nothing to be ashamed of; we tend to be better perceived when we have luxurious goods and it’s OK to indulge a little. Ultimately it’s how you represent yourself and how you treat people that’s more important.
5. Keeping it semi-available.
This ties in with the rule of scarcity. Imagine eating the same food everyday; we will get bored of it. If we have it from time to time, we will enjoy it much more. This is the same with celebrities as well; we love them and the media feeds them information about them, yet we don’t know them. The mystery is what makes them that much more alluring.
This is the same with dating. The sparks usually happen during the initial stage of meeting and going out. As more time is spent together, the less attracted you are with each other. This is why sex substantially declines with married couples. This is true even with objects – when you first purchase something, there is this excitement that goes along with it. However, the more time you spend with it, the less excited you are about it. But, while attraction declines as more time is spent, the connection strengthens between you and the person or object. That’s why it’s hard to let go of something you’ve possessed for a long time.
6. Keeping it slightly out of reach.
Also ties in with the rule of scarcity. Whenever I come home, my dog loves to take my socks off. Usually I would dangle the socks in front of him and when he tries to grab it from me, I will pull it away at the last second to tease him. I do this a few times. Once he’s gotten the socks, he will play with it for a while, and then he would forget it.
This is similar to humans. Whenever we want something, and someone plays push pull with us, we want them more. But, it cannot be so far out of reach that they simply don’t have interest because they believe they have no hope for it, and it cannot be too easy to get otherwise the attraction fades fast. By being challenged, we contribute our time and resources, which make us value it more.
Think about two magnets. Place them far apart and you feel no tension between them. Place them together and they immediately bond with each other. Place them just slightly apart and you can feel the tension, that force, between them. That is the attraction force.
7. Your features must appeal to the market.
An object that has no use or special appeal for people isn’t going to be profitable. If you can eat chopsticks with either one of your hands and no one finds that fascinating, obviously that’s not going to make you attractive. Or you might just be targeting the wrong market – if you are smart and the people in your venue only want to date your wallet, which you don’t have, then either you get that wallet or you go to a different market.
8. People can vision themselves with you in the future… and they like it.
Going along with #7, we buy clothes because we think we look good in them. We like to look good as it makes us feel good ourselves and it makes people give us their attention more. But before we actually purchased, we are imagining this only. If this imagination is good, we will want to buy it.
Similarly, if people can feel or see that they will have a good time with you in the future, they will be more attracted to you.
9. The initial interactions are good.
When we see a clothing we like, we want to buy it. When we try it on and it actually looks good on us, we really want to buy it. This is the same with people – when someone who is good looking comes to the party, we want to meet them. When they make us feel good, we become even more attracted to them.
(Side note: sometimes when someone doesn’t talk to them, some people may perceive that as rude which will reduce the person’s attractiveness, while some people will perceive it as a mystery and a challenge, which actually increases the person’s attractiveness. Therefore, it can be very subjective.)
All of these laws happen because we are influenced by our subconscious. The better something is, the more likely it will increase our survival and reproduction chances while increasing our social status.
Also something to note – not all of these laws work on all people; there are exceptions. Take #4 for example; some people like to be “cool” and want something that nobody else wants.
What are some other laws of attraction you can think of?
P.S. will be continually updating this page if I can think of anything else!